


Innocence

by bunbuncchi



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, First Time Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 12:59:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17867726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunbuncchi/pseuds/bunbuncchi
Summary: Everything that had happened that night was everything Luciel wanted.





	Innocence

Innocence

He was laying on his bed when Kousuke found him. Fingers grazing the sheets as if they were fragile, with a sad, lost look on his face. As if time itself was non-existent, as if nothing mattered. His lips only parted slightly as he turned to face the older male.

“Is something the matter?” He asked, voice loud enough to be heard, but only that.

“I’ve been looking for you.” Just that and Luciel knew. He _knew_ what he meant by those words. Truth is, he had known for quite some time now, since he was the one putting the other off for enough weeks already. Kousuke certainly had been nice when it came to waiting at first, but deep down Luciel knew he couldn’t keep denying him.   
Especially since he also wanted it. He was just scared, he told himself. He wanted to be the very best for him.

Yes, he wanted him. He wanted it.

“Come here, kitten.” His voice, calm as ever, gentle and soft as he got closer to him, cupping his cheeks to kiss him. Softly. He had been good. He listened, he obeyed- no. He helped. He behaved nicely.   
He deserved this.

Silky rose lips began kissing back, timidly even, while his cheeks grew hotter and his throat tightened.

“You are ready now, are you not?” Kousuke’s deep, calm voice asked him, his frame beginning to shake. “You better be…” He laughed, but in between those chuckles he could hear the threat. The promise of taking away _this_ that he so desperately wanted. No, Luciel wouldn’t risk it. He wouldn’t dare.

 “I am.” He replied, looking at his deep brown eyes, seeing his reflection in them. “I _want_ this.”

“I know.” It only took a gentle push to put him back against the pillow, big hands caressing the pale skin of his arms. The younger male froze at the touch, only to melt into it for a second. A second too short.

The brunette reached for the drawer and took something that Luciel couldn’t see, the bed covering the item. Did he even want to know? Whatever it was, it wasn’t interrupting any of this. He furrowed his lips in anticipation.   
Nothing could make this go away.

Suddenly, his wrists were tied up above his head, tight. A little too tight.  
He struggled to break free but the rope keeping his hands together hurt him. A little too rough.

“You look absolutely beautiful, kitten.”

When? When did he took off his shirt? The same one he held in his arms while admiring the smaller male.  
By gazing at his eyes he had lost himself for a second, allowing him to be undressed.   
But he looked beautiful, Kousuke said. And Kousuke wouldn’t lie. It had to be true.

With a gentle slide he took off the black jeans covering the equally pale and skinny legs.   
Soon, Luciel found his body beginning to tremble. The room was cold, colder than he remembered. Cold enough to make him shiver. And the older’s hand burned in comparison. He left a trail of blazing fire along his thigh until it disappeared.

Just like the fire, his only garment left had gone too. Discarded on the floor.

Luciel’s breath quickened, naked in front of him, the burn on his wrists reminding him he couldn’t move. But even so, he wouldn’t. His eyes connected with him, lovingly. He wouldn’t. Because he wanted this.

Kousuke’s hand grabbed his thighs and pushed them forward, leaving his backside displayed to him. _Only_ to him. Those brown eyes were the only ones that could stare at him, presenting himself in that way.

“Eh…?” He felt his legs getting tight, and only then did he dare look at what he was doing. He found soon enough that the older male had tied him up again, this time his thighs but not together. Of course not together, he thought.  
Instead, he was tying him to the bedpost, along with his already tied wrists.

He couldn’t move, he could only see him.

“You belong to me, my kitten.” He grew closer, his thumb touching his lower lip.

“Yes.” Luciel managed to answer before his lips were sealed with a kiss. He closed his eyes, letting himself _feel._  
Kousuke’s lips against his, their tongues dancing together, his body fully naked and ready to be claimed by him. And it felt _good_. It felt so good he was sure, he wanted this.

Their lips parted, Kousuke pulling away from him. Luciel, still in a dazed state searched for his eyes, those two pools of chocolate that would only look at him.  
His hands trembled- no. His body was shaking, even more when the brunette grabbed a piece of cloth and put it against his mouth, between his damp lips.  
“Hush now.” He mumbled, tying a know behind the younger one’s head. The makeshift gag now in place, leaving him unable to answer.  
Kousuke took a moment to view the small frame, adorned with red rope and a small black cloth, thighs parting away, inviting him to come closer.

Luciel whimpers against the gag, making a muffled, weak sound. He sounds so… small, so helpless. So needy for someone to aid him.  
And that’s exactly what Kousuke would do. Kousuke was the only one that could.

Brown eyes look at mismatched ones, the latter sporting wide pupils, wider than he’s ever seen. He smiles ever so slightly, his hand reaching the small, flat stomach. This wasn’t the first time he saw Luciel naked. He had seen him countless of times before, but they had never gone beyond foreplay, Luciel would just service him to completion. This time however, was going to be different.

Luciel lets himself be touched by him, eyes watering enough to make them shine, but not near enough to shed tears. He knew this would happen, he knew what this meant, he knew what to expect… yet it was so different from what he had imagined. He thought it would feel much better than this.

The gentle push of his lips, the caressing of his cheek and _that_ look on his eyes. The pats on his head and slight rubbing of Kousuke’s knee against his groin.    
That felt so good and was the reason he was left so lost in that moment.

The ropes burning him in his every move, the gag leaving him to only be able to breathe through his nose, the ache in his throat that grew with the passing of the seconds.

But this is what he wanted, right?

Kousuke licks his middle finger and smiles. And all of a sudden Luciel is very thankful for that gag. He doesn’t know if he could have smiled back were he not using it.

The damp fingers grow closer and closer to him, to his puckered pink hole and Luciel gulps, closing his eyes while shivering. Excitement – surely. He trembles because he can’t wait a second longer. He wants this!

_Does he?_

He can’t answer his own question, his mind falling blank when he feels Kousuke pushing the first finger inside him. The saliva coating it is nowhere near enough, he feels it sliding inside faster than what he was comfortable, he begins to squirm.  
The alien sensation of long fingers entering his body proving to be too much. It hurt, but the physical pain wasn’t what made his eyes water more and more.  
It was the look on _his_ face, a warning. It was the way he couldn’t be so sure anymore about what he actually wanted. It was the fact that his body felt cold and out of place.

Did he want this?

Soon were two and then three. Three fingers pushing in and out a little bit too rough, a little but too early. Big fat tears rolled down his face even with his eyes shut close.

“Relax.” The invading fingers spread, causing him to let out a muffled yelp. “You’ll do better in no time.”  
And so Luciel took deep breaths through his nose. Kousuke wouldn’t lie to him, so he had to relax. He was sure he would do better, Kousuke said it. And he trusted him.

His quickened breathing started to slow down, he allowed his muscles to loosen the grip on the fingers, and before he could take all of this in, electricity shoot around him, to every nook and crany on his body, from head to toes, or rather, from his behind.  
It shook him and widened his gaze on the older male.

“You want more of this, don’t you?” He laughed, and Luciel rapidly nodded, needing him to believe him, needing him to believe himself. That felt good, so everything _is_ good.

_I want this.  
I really want this!_

But before he even had the chance to try and tell him, hoping he’d understand the weak noises, it was over.

Too soon, Luciel thought, Kousuke had removed his fingers from his inside, leaving him empty, all his new found might dispersed as if it was never there to begin with.

Luciel feels the sudden need to hide, to cover his body from view, to put the blankets over him and close his eyes until the ugly, _ugly_ feeling goes away.  
But it wouldn’t. And it certainly doesn’t.  
If he were to kiss his lips right now, he wonders, would the feeling go away?  
He suddenly wishes he could kiss Kousuke.

He mumbles against the fabric, trying to communicate and Kousuke doesn’t miss it.

“What’s that? You’re needy?” He gives a low chuckle. “You’re all hard already.”

Luciel hadn’t realized before that he was indeed hard, his body feeling the need for him, as he did himself. Luciel wanted this badly, he loved him eagerly, needed him desperately.   
If Kousuke wanted this of him, he would happily comply.

The brunette took his silence as his answer, and began to pull out his own hard need into his hand. Between his legs Luciel could see it, the hard length nested between those long fingers. He then found himself amazed at how he never actually fantasized about this. He knew this moment would come, but he never actually wondered about how it would feel, how it would look like, how it would play out.  
Was it strange?   
He somehow felt that it was _wrong_. That it would otherwise taint his feelings of love.   
It wasn’t strange, he decided finally. He just loved him too much.

“Breathe…” And he did. He took a deep breath. But even then that wasn’t enough of a warning for what was to come. It felt like his insides were stretched ten times more than what he thought possible.

A loud moan and some whimpers were muffled by the now drool-coated fabric. At this point it was hard to swallow.

His nails dug into his palms so hard he can’t even feel them. No, nothing could have ever prepared him for _this._

It started slow, but soon enough began to quicken the pace. The slap of his hips against his own, the rough feeling of Kousuke deep inside. It was dry, it was ripping him open in a sensation he had never felt before.  
His tears came back and he couldn’t be too sure if he was crying because of the pain in his rear or the one that plagued him from even deeper.  
He _knew!_ Kousuke knew about how he felt! So why wasn’t he at least reassuring him? Why did his eyes look so cold? When they were able to melt all of that ice, why were they now freezing all over him?   
And why did he feel that, even if they look so cold to him now… That they were just the same as every day? God… He really wanted it.

_To stop._

It hurt, it even hurt when the dry feeling went away. Warm, red liquid serving as lube.

He opened his eyes but everything was a blur. He was crying even harder now, drool falling to his sides, dripping in a surely disgusting way.

He felt disgusting, horribly so. And he also felt scared that Kousuke would think the same.

_Stop, please… Stop._

His whole body burned, his face was all wet, his teeth bite down on the gag as hard as he can, and it muffles the sounds of his screams when Kousuke decided to go all the way in.

_I want this,_ he thinks, tears rolling nonstop down his cheeks. _I wanted this, I should still want this._

But he finds himself being awoken by a splash of cold water. He doesn’t.

At that moment the Luciel thinks older male realized how not ready he was for this. He was even backing off, his hips desperately getting away from him. But instead of stopping or addressing the issue, he finally pounds on that spot that he had only been grazing with his fingers before. That one spot that makes Luciel throw his head back in the pillow with a loud but still muffled moan.

 “You like that, don’t you?” And he isn’t wrong. Luciel does like that. He rolls his eyes back as Kousuke pounds against that spot once again, mixing tears of pain with ones of pleasure. 

The older male shifts his hips every so often, his thrusts only hitting Luciel’s prostate every fourth or fifth of them. He finds that he loves the way his expression changes from excruciating pain to mind-breaking pleasure. The way his little dick goes from slightly soft to hard and oozing precum.  
He relishes in his screams and his moans, begging him to continue.

He buries himself to the hilt inside, feeling his climax nearing and he doesn’t hold back. He doesn’t wait for the younger to get closer to his own orgasm so they can reach it together. He doesn’t even think of it.

“You’re so good, kitten.” Kousuke says, thrusting deep inside Luciel, making his entire body shiver with the new, warm sensation of something else _filling_ him to the brim.

Luciel whimpers, and even if he doesn’t want to, in the back of his mind he thinks.  
_Please, let this be over._

But his prayers go unanswered as Kousuke’s thrusts grow slower and slower. It hurts, it burns, doesn’t he realize that? Can’t he see he’s in pain?

Almost a whole minute after his orgasm the brunette slides off, leaving him empty once again, loose and wet from his seed and Luciel’s own blood.   
The younger steadies his breath slowly, moving his head upwards so he doesn’t choke on his saliva. It’s over now, his body feeling tired and his penis beginning to soften.  
He realized he hadn’t had the chance to cum.

Without even caring, he lays there, on his bed, exhausted and hurting. Eyes locking on the bedsheets trying to know if this all ordeal actually happened, or if it was just his imagination.  
Wasn’t this what he saw a while back? White bedsheets and equally white pillows.   
White, clean and unmarred.

Kousuke got closer to him to undo his gag, and then the ropes. He felt his body heavy, falling down against the matress.

“You were… Better than I had expected.” He admitted, observing his every move. “You enjoyed it, right, kitten?” He smirked and Luciel could only then find the strength in his body to gaze back at him.

He nods, not trusting his voice to give him a verbal answer. He thinks hard and then concludes… He did like it. Well, parts of it at least. Maybe that’s how sex was supposed to be. Awkward, painful, hot and cold at the same time. Too much and too little.  
With some pleasure in between to make it more tolerable.

“Hmm.” Kousuke sits beside him, Luciel turning again to face him.   
“You looked so good tied up like that. I could keep you like that forever.”

“No.” Luciel rapidly blurted out, realizing only seconds later what he had done.

Brown, narrow eyes widen ever so slightly, surprised at his sudden outburst.

“I-… I mean, if you want to… You… you could.” He quickly corrected himself, but it was too late.

Kousuke had to smile. He both loved and hated his defiance. He hated it because it showed, Luciel would still put up a fight against him. He wanted to extinguish it, like a flame dying out of no oxygen, he wanted it gone. But at the same time, he loved it, he wanted to see how long it would last, and bask in the joy and excitement of finally breaking him.   
How much could he endure? What was his breaking point? What could he do to see him eating out of his palm?

“No.” His smile still present on his lips. “We can do more of this some other time.”

Luciel exhales deeply, not knowing when he had taken so much air in.   
“Yes…” He weakly replies. “Some other time…”

Kousuke finally leaves the room, letting Luciel roll to his side, his backside resting and his fingers once again circling the sheets, as if nothing happened. As if everything had been just a dream. However, the pain he felt denied him of that wish.

He couldn’t keep going like this. Not if he wanted to keep Kousuke around him. Luciel had seen his ice cold eyes, disapproving of his performance. He had to be better, he had no other choice.  
So instead of crying, he forced himself to smile, as everything that had happened that night was everything Luciel wanted.

 


End file.
